i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
