yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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