I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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