I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
pray to the hookup gods
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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