my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
