Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
