You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
