There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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