i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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