What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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