Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
