I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
