Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
