I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
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I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
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New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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