I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
