im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
