ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
