im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize