you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You made out with two different species that night
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize