I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
