I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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