I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
