Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm so hungover and dru,k

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  (248): I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now (810): I'm so hungover and dru,k http://tfl.nu/ug4y
  Replies (4) Good night (1116) Bad night (520)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head

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  (412): guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head http://tfl.nu/nsk3
  Replies (3) Good night (1541) Bad night (714)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek

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  (613): the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek http://tfl.nu/bytn
  Replies (5) Good night (939) Bad night (3606)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner

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  (847): so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner http://tfl.nu/rb90
  Replies (20) Good night (4896) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.

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  (414): You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning. http://tfl.nu/dt9p
  Replies (9) Good night (5242) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight

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  (303): I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight http://tfl.nu/nfvu
  Replies (50) Good night (13146) Bad night (1576)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.

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  (802): i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/lstw
  Replies (13) Good night (4539) Bad night (1351)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...

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  (+61): He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him... http://tfl.nu/efrg
  Replies (36) Good night (6151) Bad night (1367)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?

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  (980): I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap? http://tfl.nu/ykcv
  Replies (11) Good night (785) Bad night (2333)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them

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  (706): I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them http://tfl.nu/sm11
  Replies (10) Good night (1576) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Now back to adults eating hotdogs.

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  (402): Now back to adults eating hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/i07d
  Replies (3) Good night (712) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.

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  (262): You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM. http://tfl.nu/legz
  Replies (3) Good night (1466) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.

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  (609): If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days. http://tfl.nu/rcu1
  Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else

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  (312): I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else http://tfl.nu/bz1h
  Replies (1) Good night (391) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress

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  (+44): I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress http://tfl.nu/f8qv
  Replies (1) Good night (276) Bad night (111)

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