I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
