She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
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i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?