Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide

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  (727): He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide http://tfl.nu/4asu
  Replies (7) Good night (498) Bad night (3318)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.

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  (303): If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed. http://tfl.nu/n5xo
  Replies (9) Good night (3248) Bad night (733)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.

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  (434): So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus. http://tfl.nu/hw67
  Replies (28) Good night (5688) Bad night (1020)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.

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  (703): I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm. http://tfl.nu/zuvg
  Replies (20) Good night (4689) Bad night (984)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  "Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"

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  (905): "Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends" http://tfl.nu/crxa
  Replies (17) Good night (4987) Bad night (757)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny

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  (206): And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny http://tfl.nu/a88g
  Replies (17) Good night (6464) Bad night (983)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?

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  (618): Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth? http://tfl.nu/eljh
  Replies (9) Good night (918) Bad night (5270)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.

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  (832): My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over. http://tfl.nu/z5ao
  Replies (9) Good night (3756) Bad night (686)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note

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  (706): Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note http://tfl.nu/2uyq
  Replies (5) Good night (4203) Bad night (776)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.

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  (612): Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home. http://tfl.nu/ms67
  Replies (3) Good night (1842) Bad night (697)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.

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  (314): I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from. http://tfl.nu/x0kt
  Replies (5) Good night (1453) Bad night (646)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.

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  (919): I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping. http://tfl.nu/iyfp
  Replies (10) Good night (1971) Bad night (1083)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.

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  (905): ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all. http://tfl.nu/qym2
  Replies (4) Good night (1508) Bad night (472)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.

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  (802): I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday. http://tfl.nu/gxw8
  Replies (7) Good night (1434) Bad night (446)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...

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  (785): I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench... http://tfl.nu/97xe
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (235)

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