I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
