Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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