i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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