Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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