I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
