what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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