it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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