i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
