I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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