i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
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She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
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20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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