she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
