I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
