So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
