I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
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I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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