i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
