I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
