jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
just found out that she named her cat after me.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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