I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
