do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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