My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize