Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
