I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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