I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize