So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sorry about my life...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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