My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize