im having a threesome with these popsicles
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
