someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize