so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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