And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
