Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
