The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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