Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i will never coherently bang her
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
