i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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