and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I think i got beer on your cat.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
