Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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