what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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